Articles

For many years the most common approach to parenting used by psychologists has been the behavioural method. This approach focuses on shaping and improving your child's behaviour through the use of rewards and punishments. It emphasizes the importance of clear rules, consistent discipline, and consequences, to encourage the behaviours you want in your child and discourage undesirable behaviour. There is value in this approach but it often emphasises obedience and compliance.

To allow our children to be truly seen, as parents or caregivers, we need to pay attention to our children, in an attuned and empathic manner. When a child’s unique qualities, emotional experiences, thoughts and individuality, is embraced by those important to them, without judgement or rejection, the child feels acknowledged, understood, and valued for who they truly are.

You may have been one of the lucky ones to have experienced “good enough” parenting as a child, where your physical and emotional needs were met. Or maybe your childhood was stressful and uncertain, or even traumatic. For those of us who embark on the journey of parenthood, making sense of our past, integrating our memories, and creating a coherent and meaningful story of our upbringing, is crucial for effective parenting.